Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
