And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
