I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
