i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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