wrigley field is MILF paradise
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
