So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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