Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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