My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just high enough for therapy.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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