you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
