There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
