Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
