this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
lets start a swedish sibling band together
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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