Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
