I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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