Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize