Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize