I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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