SEEEEXXX PLEASE
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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