Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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