you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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