Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
