Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
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you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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