We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
