be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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