Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
