When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize