I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
