So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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