that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
