butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
