the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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