Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
