i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
