So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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