Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
