It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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