I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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