Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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