he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
