he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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