You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
