Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
