Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
