I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
