Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
