A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
