Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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