so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i am craving dick and cupcakes
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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