captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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