so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
