I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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