is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I love having hate sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
