You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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