Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
