It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
