i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize