it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
