we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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