better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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