why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
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He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?