I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.