I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize