The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
should my penis look like a turkey
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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